Comparison Is the Thief of Joy

Jul 6

Written by Kendall Sapiro, Junior Psychotherapist at Wavelength Psychotherapy

KEY POINTS:

Develop a healthier perspective and embrace your unique journey
What we see online is a filtered version of reality
People are more likely to flaunt their strengths while they hide their struggles
Channel your energy into setting and pursuing meaningful goals

Who doesn’t love a good selfie? When you’re feeling yourself, there’s nothing better than posing in good lighting and posting a great photo on Instagram. As people like it and respond, it’s easy to feel on top of the world—until you see someone else’s selfie.

Seeing picture-perfect photos of an influencer, celebrity, or friend can make anyone feel insecure or less than. But why are we trying to compete with these highly edited, carefully selected pictures when the point of social media is to feel good about ourselves?

In a world filled with social media highlight reels and constant self-evaluation, developing a healthier perspective and embracing our unique journey is important. Let's explore why we compare ourselves to others and discover ways to break free from this self-destructive habit.

Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?

Comparing yourself to others is normal—we all do it. It’s human nature to want to better yourself, and it’s all too common to use the perfect image projected by others as a yardstick to compare oneself to. We all want social validation, and self-assessment can seem like the only way to get this.

Comparison, however, often leads to negative emotions, self-doubt, self-criticism, a harsh inner dialogue, and a skewed perception of our self-worth.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Remember that what you see online is a filtered version of reality. People are more likely to flaunt their strengths while hiding their struggles. Behind every seemingly perfect life, there are hidden challenges and imperfections. Everyone is on their own path with their own battles, strengths, and successes.

Instead of idealizing others' lives, focus on your growth and progress. Celebrate your unique qualities and achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

Replace self-judgment with self-compassion. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would extend to a friend. Remind yourself that everyone has their own journey, and you're doing the best you can with your resources and circumstances. Embrace your strengths and be gentle with your perceived weaknesses.

Take time each day to reflect on what you're grateful for. Gratitude is a powerful antidote to the comparison trap. Appreciate your unique talents, relationships, and experiences. Focusing on what you have rather than what you lack can shift your perspective and increase your overall happiness. Embrace the abundance that exists within your own journey.

Channel your energy into setting and pursuing meaningful goals rather than comparing yourself. Clarify your values, passions, and aspirations. Break your goals down into manageable steps and celebrate your progress along the way. Remember that success is subjective and personal.