How to Do Affirmations Properly: Dismantling Pop Psychology
Written by Camila Pena Batista, LMSW, Psychotherapist at Wavelength Psychotherapy
KEY POINTS:
Positive affirmations can have great mental health benefits when done correctly
Learn the steps to do affirmations effectively and reap more rewards
Practice your affirmations consistently, whether they’re positive affirmations for work, confidence, relationships, or more
What Are Affirmations?
Positive affirmations are phrases we repeat to motivate ourselves, encourage positive change, decrease negative self-talk, and boost our self-esteem. These positive self-talk activities aim to reframe negative thoughts or disprove beliefs threatening our sense of self.
Affirmations have scientifically proven benefits, but you’ve probably been doing them wrong. You are likely driving through the world of positive affirmations without a set destination or navigation system. Charting your path can help you make the most of your affirmations practice.
Tips for Doing Affirmations
Positive affirmations for self-esteem, manifestation, and more provide long-lasting benefits when done correctly. Follow these tips to ensure the words align with you and your goals:
1. Align Them with Your Values
It is easy to lose perspective of our values when we receive a constant barrage of opinions every day. We’re told what’s wrong or right, what is beautiful or ugly, and what is acceptable or not. We can end up honoring other people’s standards, expectations, and values above our own.
Take a step back from the noise, turn up the volume of your own voice, and ask yourself:
What are my core beliefs?
What is important to me?
Your affirmations, behaviors, and intentions should align with your values, and nobody else’s.
2. Find Meaning
If you’ve ever sung along to a song in a foreign language, you know you can repeat words without understanding them. The same can happen with affirmations; until you know and connect with the meaning of the words, they’re just words.
Look at your affirmations and find meaning in them. An excellent place to start is identifying the factors that make the statements true. For example, if you need self reassurance of your beauty, think about what you find beautiful about yourself. If you need reassurance about your safety, look at what factors allow you to feel safe now, like a house, a partner, or food.
3. Be Intentional and Specific
Once you have found the meaning of your affirmation, ensure that you are being intentional and specific to yourself. Think beyond a general phrase to how it speaks to you individually. Rather than repeating to yourself, “ I am capable,” try “I am capable of X, Y, Z” to highlight your strengths.
4. Be consistent
Make this exercise a habit. Doing affirmations once will not work out! These steps may seem like a lot, but affirmations will come naturally with practice. Build your list of affirmations and stick with your positive daily affirmations, morning affirmations, or whatever cadence suits you.
You need to plant the seed and water it so it grows.
Reap the Rewards
Following these steps will help you fill the hole, not just cover it up. Work towards reframing negative thoughts, believing the words you say to yourself daily, and drowning out the outside world. Turn on the lights of your internal world and see and listen to yourself!
Camila
Camila is an LMSW therapist with a focus on adolescents and anxiety management at Wavelength Psychotherapy. She is based in downtown Manhattan and northern New Jersey.
