Positive Affirmations for Men: These Are for You, Too!

A guide to putting affirmations into practice for men, written by Camila Pena Batista, LMSW, Psychotherapist at Wavelength Psychotherapy

Key Points: 

• If you’re a man, daily positive affirmations can be helpful for you, too! 

• Men’s mental health matters! Yet, there is often still a stigma around it. 

• The challenges men face can lead to lower self-esteem and negative behaviors. 

• Being intentional and consistent can help you get the most out of affirmations. Read on for tips on how to best implement the exercise.

The Stigma Around Men’s Mental Health Persists

Since the beginning of time, self-esteem and other mental health challenges have been problems assigned to women to address and not to men. The stigma around men’s mental health is still an issue despite the recent increase in advocacy for it. 

Culturally inherited beliefs and values influenced by patriarchy hinder the opportunity for men to be vulnerable, honest, and authentic. When a man is emotionally aware and expressive, he is qualified as someone less than. When a man is unable to “keep it together,” it is perceived as a sign of weakness. Women, on the other hand, are expected to ask for and need support – a benefit that patriarchy gives them. 

Society expects men to be strong and not show their feelings. 

Men Face Many Challenges That Can Lead to Negative Self-Talk 

In my experiences supporting men in therapy, I have found they need support on a range of challenges. These include but are not limited to emotion identification and processing, identification of stressors and ability to regulate stress, feelings of inferiority, and comprehension of their somatic, emotional, or cognitive reactions. 

These challenges influence their self-esteem and interpersonal relationships, normalizing avoidance, impulsive behaviors, and automatic somatic reactions. When underlying feelings and beliefs are repressed and values are unconsciously misaligned, thoughts of “I am not good enough” arise. 

Patriarchy Leads Us to Believe Men Must Be Logical, Not Emotional

Patriarchy polarizes human capabilities into masculine and feminine and overvalues masculine traits. Under these cultural laws, men are told to sit only on their logical side, not their emotional side. 

Neuroscience proves time and time again that our brain has an emotional side that we need to connect to and listen to to stay safe. As humans, no matter our gender, we have a nervous system that allows us to react to the world and determine safety and danger. We must experience fear, anger, happiness, and joy to differentiate between security and threat and confirm our well-being. Sitting on the emotional side is imperative for men, too. 

There’s Great Value in Words of Affirmation for Men

Although affirmations may not answer all our problems or be the sole means of evaluating and validating ourselves, they are a powerful tool for remaining attuned to our intentions, values, fundamental beliefs, and emotions. Moreover, they can help us regain control over our behaviors and responses to ourselves and the world.

Tips for Daily Affirmations for Men

In the previous post on How to do Affirmations Properly: Dismantling Pop Psychology, we introduced what affirmations are – in brief, phrases we repeat to motivate ourselves, encourage positive change, decrease negative self-talk, and boost our self-esteem – and tips to practice them appropriately. 

If you’re a man, I highly encourage you to practice positive affirmations and recommend following these tips to make them personalized and powerful. 

1. Align your affirmations to your values. 

It's important to define your values and align your affirmations with them. When negative thoughts such as "I am not good enough" or questions such as "Am I good enough of a man?" arise, take some time to reflect on what it means to you. Define what "being good" means based on your beliefs and values or what "being a man" means to you. It's vital to understand what's important for YOU to be, feel, and do in the present moment.

Your affirmations should speak to the things you value. 

2. Be intentional and specific. 

Make your affirmations specific to you to make them more impactful. Answers I hear to the above question include being a provider, a good father, a good partner, and a good person. However, these are broad values that hold different meanings for each person. Break this down further to make the affirmations specific to you. 

Consider what exactly you want to provide, what you want to feel competent at, what you want to excel at, etc. Describe how that looks and feels for you in your life. Reflect on what you aren’t seeing right now that is important for you to see and believe in your life. 

3. Find meaning.

Find meaning in your affirmations by reminding yourself of what makes them true. Think of things you already do that make you a good person, father, provider, partner, etc. Consider what else you need to do to align with those characteristics, what resources are available to you that will help you be who you strive to be, and what resources allow you to see who you already are. 

Affirmations should not simply be repeated phrases; they should be meaningful and remind you of your value. 

3. Be consistent with your affirmations. 

Once you’ve gained clarity on your values, needs, and emotions, connect to them daily. Just as you must continue going to the gym for maintenance after having “achieved” your goal for a better physique or lifestyle, you must continue your daily affirmations practice. It will help you hold all that you are in your conscious mind. 

To maintain mental health, you must engage in the ongoing and non-ending practice of assessing and evaluating yourself. 

Practicing affirmative self-talk will give you a sense of direction and help you connect holistically with yourself, leading to a stronger sense of control and increased acceptance towards yourself. 

Camila

Camila is an LMSW psychotherapist at Wavelength Psychotherapy, seeing patients in Union Square, Manhattan, and Bergen County, New Jersey.  Men’s mental health is one of our specialties at Wavelength Psychotherapy. If you want more support in your affirmations practice or are interested in speaking with a mental health professional, reach out to us for a free 15-minute consultation call.